HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT...YOU?

I originally wrote about "style-esteem" last March. And after watching a couple of Oprah shows recently, I was compelled to resurrect the topic today.

When I meet people and tell them that I'm a wardrobe coach, I usually disclose my philosophy that I believe people show you how they feel about themselves by the way they leave the house each day. And I've had plenty of people tell me that while that may be true for others, my logic doesn't really apply to them. Oh, really? Let me tell you why I disagree with that notion.

When you love yourself, you take care of yourself and you take care to present yourself as a clean, well-dressed individual. You look good, which leads to you feeling even better. Conversely, when you throw on stained khaki pants and a shirt that's too small, you don't jump up and volunteer to pitch to the vice president of your department. You sink down in the chair and hope that your manager doesn't realize you forgot to put on deodorant today. This presentation of yourself is your style-esteem.

We all know what self-esteem is, right? Dictionary.com defines it as, a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself. Basically, self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. So what the heck is style-esteem, you may be asking? It’s a phrase I coined to describe how you display your self-esteem through the way you present yourself to the world.

We all have style-esteem whether you call it that or not. When I initially thought of this concept, I was thinking about how you dress and if you carried yourself as a well-groomed person. But the more I think about it, your style-esteem can be shown by the way you keep your home or your car. Do you hid behind a messy house or wardrobe because deep down you’re a mess? Is it easier to say that you don’t care about what other people think because you’re really afraid of what you think about yourself?

I make this point from the stance of self-reflection and not one of judgment. Whenever I watch What Not to Wear, I’m always nodding in confirmation when the person being made over is brought to tears because their new look makes them feel better about themselves. Taking time to care about your appearance is not wasted time. It’s time well spent on YOU. And if you don’t feel comfortable with that, your esteem, however you describe it, can use a makeover.

So, what's your style-esteem? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Comments

[LOVELIFE!]

You know, Miss Lady, I couldn't agree with you more. My style-esteem, like my self-esteem, is very high. I must admit though, that when I am in a funky, non-social mood - I definitely dress the part. I non-intentionally "dress down" to avoid social contact. It should be the opposite. When I am not feeling "well" I should use my wardrobe to brighten my mood. Most of us don't realize that what we portray on the outside is really what we feel on the inside. I will make a conscious effort to always "dress up" my mood.

[STYLEnosh]

Thanks for the comment LOVELIFE! I think you raise a good point. The way we dress is definitely impacted by our moods. And I like your solution- if you feel like crap, dress like you feel like a million bucks! Who knows, you clothes may actually LIFT that crappy mood!

[Mo]

Nosh, I definintely agree with you about style-esteem. I mean isn't that the very basis for retail therapy? When you feel like crap you go buy new things to make you look and feel better. When you dress down i.e. running to sbux for a coffee and you havn't showered yet or dropping off the kids you aren't styling and dont want to be noticed. However when you are dressed up [I think it's important to not that dressed up means just looking good whatever that is to you, not neccesarily dressed in your sunday best:-)]you carry your head higher, your posture is good and you reflect personal love and confidence. It is a by product of knwoing you are put together. I recently purged 2 bags of clothes from my closet because I want to pare down to only things that make me look good. From a sweatsuit to a hot outfit, even if I havn't showered, I still want to look good:-)

[Joanne]

You know, I absolutely agree with you. Our clothes say something about us, and I absolutely believe that how "pulled together" you look points to how you feel about yourself. And that doesn't mean that you are always dressed to the nines with full makeup. But, even dressed down days can look nice.

In the past two years, I have lost 80 lbs and had a breast reduction. And you better believe that the attention I put into my wardrobe now is more focused than what it was before. Why? Because I'm proud of the way I look in my clothes now. I no longer try to hide in my clothes, either to hide my breasts or the excessive fat located elsewhere on my body.

Some days, I DO dress up awfully nice. But, I'm a mom to three young kids. That doesn't work,for me, for every day. But, even in jeans and a tshirt, you can look nice. You can do your hair and make it look like you have put even a small effort into the YOU that you present to the world, even if that world for that day is only your kids and your husband.

[Elena]

I started reading style blogs about 2 1/2 yrs ago, trying to find my way back to myself after getting lost in a desert of childbearing and a budget that was strong on things like electricity and weak in areas like new Sephora products.
For a long time I went to work in baggy jeans or yoga pants. When I could come up with a decent outfit, I would recieve so many compliments and briefly perk up, like a mostly dead plant that you finally remembered to water. Gradually, step (walmart started having some pretty cute dresses I could afford that I'd toss in the cart along with my groceries) by step (I found eBay and amazon to be a fabulous resource for inexpensive yet incredibly stylish shoes), I've found my way back to myself. Not the self I was before I was a mom and a wife, but looking the very best that I can helps me to embrace the life I have now, even though it does not include the entire contents of the Bath & Body Works store at any given location or season.
Remember, ladies, when you put everyone else first and have no time or money for yourself, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

[MaryTee]

I have a different angle on the style-esteem issue. I suffer from severe depression and sometimes the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is looking forward to wearing my favorite pumps or being able to try a new lipstick. My self-esteem is pretty low, but fashion and grooming actually motivate me to move forward and make it through the day.