One of my friends recently started a new job and she was commenting on how her new work environment is quite casual. Apparently, jeans and tees aren't relegated to just Fridays at her new gig. And my friend, as you can see from the pic, is a skirt and heels kind of girl so; she's usually one of the best dressed people in the room. But here's the thing that baffled me. She said that one day she overheard her coworkers talking and one of them said, "Who does she think she is dressing up everyday?" The other employee didn't comply. Her response was that she thought my friend looked nice. My question is, "When did demonstrating individual style equate to thinking that you're better than someone else?"
I believe that if you see a well-dressed woman and instead of complimenting her you attempt to put her down, you're only expressing your own lack of self-esteem. Nothing is more sad than the person who needs to tear someone else down in order to build themselves up. So please, don't be a style hater. Because trust me, it makes you look quite unattractive.
Are you a fashionable person who receives criticism about your clothes from your coworkers, friends, or family? We'd love to hear your story?
OMG! girl, i was just discussing this same topic this morning with a fellow co-worker. i heard through the grapevine that i come to work to "impress" when i'm dressed nice. Who in the hell do I need to impress? I can't help because I love fashion and care about my appearence. People hate too much. Instead of hating, they should learn a thing or two, borrow a couple of tips from the person they're hating on. Your friend outfit is cute. tell her to tell them to kick rocks, lol.
Posted by: The Cheap Chica | May 06, 2008 at 12:08 PM
Cheap Chica! You had me LMAO! Ironically, my friend pictured here uses the phrase "kick rocks" too!
I get the same treatment from individuals who think I overdress. WTH! I don't think there is a such thing as being overdressed! lol We do not elevate our geniune love of fashion to make other feel small. Actually, most fashion bloggers do this work because they are committed to giving people fashion tips and making them look and feel better about themselves. Besides, you should care about your appearance because rather you realize it or not, other people do.
Posted by: STYLEnosh | May 06, 2008 at 02:11 PM
LOL...this is simply hating at it finest!!
Another thing to remember is first impressions equate to a whole lot...whether we like it or not. I now that many people are not into fashion or simply do not have the money...but all it takes is a little effort!!!! What is also funny is that the HATERS are the ones that look a HOT MESS Daily!! I like all the attention that my co-workers are giving me....now they can't wait to see what I will grace their presence in!!!
Keep em' looking...
Posted by: JRS | May 06, 2008 at 02:33 PM
I agree with you JRS! It only takes a little effort, not a lot of money. And if you don't have any clue, Take Cheap Chica's advice and ask for help.
Posted by: STYLEnosh | May 06, 2008 at 03:05 PM
I can't prove it but I just bet the fashion comments are from other kitty cats. ME-DAMN-ow! Ladies are so cruel to each other and it transends age and socioeconmic groups and job atmosphere.
August Deed Two says she knows you lightly and finds your style not over dressed at all.She used the words fresh and whimsical.
I like skirts and rock them hard. I hate jeans and on casual day,I wear a casual skirt. Doing you should not bother other folks unless you have some kind of foul graphic t shirt on that will offend most--and trust me I have seen that at work too. :-)
Posted by: August Deed | May 06, 2008 at 04:16 PM
Ugh! I can't stand people like that! Let's all be mediocre for their comfort!
Sadly, I think I lost at least one friend because he didn't like my style makeover. I suspect it because he started telling me to my face how awful everything I was wearing was -- despite the fact that he didn't seem to care when I wore too big t-shirts and my husband's jeans (which was a truly awful look). I would have kept putting up with it, but he ditched me finally. It hurt, but in the end, he did me a favor because I really don't need people like that in my life.
Posted by: Meg from All About Appearances | May 06, 2008 at 09:04 PM
Unfortunately August Deed, women have a tendency to be mean. I hope that one day we can get beyond the unnecessary belittling and feel comfortable enough with ourselves to compliment and appreciate other women. And thanks for the compliment August Deed Two. I do what I can.
And don't get me started on the offensive graphic tees. I do like crude humor but not a work people.
Posted by: STYLEnosh | May 06, 2008 at 09:36 PM
Aww Meg! That's so sad! I feel bad for your friend. It sounds like he wanted to be friends if you didn't look your best. You're definitely better off without him. But please don't put up with anyone treating you poorly. True friends always elevate you and make you a better person. They never tear you down.
Posted by: STYLEnosh | May 06, 2008 at 09:59 PM
Thanks STYLEnosh! I'm learning :D
Posted by: Meg from All About Appearances | May 07, 2008 at 01:26 PM
I can SO relate to this! I've had a couple of jobs where that CONSTANTLY happened to me. To my face, people would just kind of tease and say things like "oh look at Miss Movie Star", which was annoying but not totally vicious.
However, behind my back, I'd often overhear snarky comments about how vain and snobbish I apparently was, when I was neither. I also heard one girl saying she thought I must be the kind of person that sleeps with all my male co-workers. (Clearly she thought the only reason a woman would come to work dressed nicely with her hair fixed and make-up on if she didn't have to would be because she's on the prowl. )
I'm not snobby, or vain, or on the prowl. In fact, I'm really pretty shy, reserved, and conservative. I just like to look well put-together... especially in a workplace situation. Just personally speaking, I've never felt comfortable coming to work in casual dress.
Posted by: Shannon Hilson | May 13, 2008 at 04:02 PM
Wow Shannon! I've heard the little side comments on most jobs too. And they are typically slated as jokes or funny quips, nothing I've ever been offended by. But I've never heard of anyone being accused of sleeping with their male co-workers just because they dress well! That comment blew my hair back! lol
Apparently these type of comments are rampant. And it's so unfortunate.
Posted by: STYLEnosh | May 13, 2008 at 09:43 PM
Wow. I don't get criticism, per se, but I do get comments. I work in a place that's full of science types. There are a lot of feathered haircuts, pleat front ankle length tapered pants, 10 year old Rockports and those horrible blocky "career lady" shoes. On casual days it's mom jeans for the women and over the gut jeans for the men.
I'm one of the younger people here (not that that has anything to do with it, just sayin') and I'm always in tailored slacks, 4" heels of various colors or prints, nice shirts, hair done, makeup done, nails done, etc. And of course I'm accessorized beyond the usual no earrings or any other jewelry that the women here seem to prefer. So I always get comments on my shoes or my shirts or my nails, etc. They just get a fake grin and an eye roll when they turn their backs.
Posted by: Bethany | May 15, 2008 at 02:01 PM
Hold on Bethany, hold on! Feathered haircuts and pleat front ankle legth tapered pants!! I don't think I can handle it! I'm proud of you for not succumbing to BWFS- Bad Work Fashion Syndrome. lol Be strong!
Posted by: STYLEnosh | May 15, 2008 at 10:13 PM
Your post talks about how women who dress up often become the subject of cattiness or mean comments from others. I agree - I think it points to how casual our work environments have become over the years.
But to step back and reflect for a moment - with so many fashion blogs devoted to making fun of women who don't care too much about their outfits (often out of choice, not ignorance) or post "fashion blunder" pictures of others, maybe the reverse cattiness and judgement is not so unexpected, after all? If you want others to stop hating you for being stylish, start by returning the favor - don't silently or openly criticze others' fashion choices, don't make fun about others behind their backs and don't presume that you are an authority on fashion. People have different definitions of style and imposing your rules on others' is bound to invite retaliation.
Posted by: Charlotte | October 21, 2008 at 08:50 PM
Thanks so much for the comment Charlotte. After contemplating what you wrote, I feel compelled to respond to a few key points you mentioned. I completely agree with the abundance of fashion blogs that make fun of other women, particularly celebrities. I use pictures of fashion mistakes to illustrate a point and over better solutions for everyday style. And while I do use humor in my writing, I'm committed to not showing the faces of the individuals in the pics. And as for your comment suggesting that I'm not "an authority on fashion", it actually made me chuckle. People pay me for wardrobe advice and they regularly read this blog to get my opinion on fashion and style. Yes, it is an opinion and there are those who hold a completely opposing viewpoint. And that's wonderful. I encourage people to create their own unique look. The dictionary lists one definition of the word authority as "an accepted source of information, advice, etc". Sounds like I definitely qualify.
Posted by: STYLEnosh | October 21, 2008 at 09:31 PM