STYLEnosh

WhatWentWrong - TIMES LIKE THIS ONE CALL FOR SHAPEWEAR

If your dress or skirt is short and fitted and you have one or two extra lumps and bumps, don't go it alone. If you insist on wearing that piece of clothing, grab shapewear to smooth out those rolls.

Normally I'm not an advocate of Spanx or any comparable product. When I see extra pounds forming on my body parts, I get control of what I'm eating and workout regularly. But if you're going to wear fitted (i.e. tight clothes), shapewear should be as mandatory as underwear. Wait, I think that last suggestion may be optional too. Well you know what I mean. Tighten up, people.

 

AS WARMER TEMPS APPROACH, DON'T MAKE THIS WARDROBE MISTAKE

Sigh. The entire look says slumpy, dumpy, frumpy. It's the total opposite of a confidence booster. But the key element in this outfit that hurts my heart is the cropped jeans. When you get a chance, look in your closet and pull out all of your croppped jeans and pants. And burn them! Okay, that's not very environmentally friendly. Maybe you should just donate them. Though I'm really not keen on passing on crappy clothing to the less fortunate. No one should have to look like this.

So what's the problem with cropped pants? I mean they're comfortable, right? Easy to wear. They're slightly more airy than full length jeans. But all of the perceived benefits are negated by one simple fact.

Cropped jeans look horrible on most people.

Having your pant leg conveniently stop in the calf area causes your body to look shorter and bigger. Think of your body as a long line from head to toe. You immediately cut off a good portion of that line when you roll up your jeans like this lady did. If you want to take of advantage of the warmer weather while simutaneously looking good, skip the cropped pants. Consider wearing a dress instead. I can see your self confidence already starting to rise.

 

If you enjoyed or deplored this riveting point of view, please click the green Share This link below to Retweet, Like, Email, Digg, etc, etc. And feel free to leave your praise or gripe below. Thanks! Remember, sharing is caring.

 

 

IS IT WRONG? MEN WEARING SKINNY JEANS

 

Ahh. The latest fashion phenomenon: men wearing skinny jeans. I hadn't really thought about it until recently. I mean, the only people I saw wearing this trend were rock stars and hip hop artists. But I started to take notice when one of my guy friends mentioned a comedian lamented that you know you're wrong if you're a guy who has to straighten your foot to get into a pair of jeans. Too funny, right? So this friend is a rather stylish man. But he emphatically stated that he will not entertain the notion of wearing skinny jeans. Then he asked me would I date a guy who wore the skinny jeans look. Hmm...that's a tricky question. My commitment to an individual's right to express themselves through fashion says hey, why not. But my "strong man" conditioning says, it's not really attractive to me. Maybe it's an age thing. The guys I date are in their 30s to early 40s.

And a 38-year old man should NOT be wearing skinny jeans.

Unless of course he has a cd release date.

WhatWentWrong: A SHORT, TIGHT SQUEEZE

What a weekend! I think I'm still recuperating because I haven't walked in at 4 am from a night of partying in a long, long, really long time.  And while out celebrating a friends birthday, we came across this partygoer shaking her groove thang.

The front view.

And let's not forget the back. You should be glad it's a blurry pic because this is not a pretty sight.

I'm all for feeling comfortable in your own skin. That's the ultimate goal. However, the phrase, "Everything is not for everybody" applies to this pink ensemble. Here's a quick check to determine if the club (or work, hello) can't handle you. If you have gratuitous lumps and bumps that are accentuated by your tight dress, shirt, skirt, or pant, it's way too much of you showing. In a rather unflattering way. Tighten up, people. Tighten up.

 

READER SUBMISSION: IS THIS A SHOE INFRACTION?

I haven't quite thrown down the flag on this look. Not yet. SN faithful reader, Nicole, submitted this pic a few weeks ago. In general, toes hanging over the tops of your sandals for dear life is never a good idea. But this infraction may be caused by the structure of the shoe itself.

There are two characteristics of this shoe that make it almost impossible to wear without your toes spilling out. The first point is that it's a high-heel shoe. High heels naturally push your feet forward. And two, the two box of the shoe is awfully wide. The straps going across the mid-portion of the foot are just not enough to hold the foot in place. This look may not be a WhatWentWrong. It looks more like a WhatMayBeDangerous. One false step and you'll have bloody, painful tootsies. Ouch. 

What do you think? Are these toes escaping from their sandals a fashion violation?

WhatWentWrong: "BUILT-INS" ARE NOT MY FRIEND

Have you ever had one of those moments when you get dressed, get to work, and realize you look absolutely crazy? Well that's what happened to me one day last week. I looked down and noticed my tank top had morphed into the following scene.

While I was a bit surprised, I still thought it was pretty hilarious. I mean, I'm cool with the A-cups but this was a leaning towards ridiculous!

LESSONS LEARNED

1. ALWAYS, look in the mirror before you leave the house. That last second check could save you from a wardrobe malfunction.

2. Shirts with designated spaces for the lady parts are NOT for those of us on the small side. I was able to alleviate the problem by pinning the top to my bra. It wasn't a 100% fix but it good enough to get me through the rest of the day without people staring at me thinking, "Something's missing." 

3. Even the fashionable can make a fashion mistake. I think some people assume that if you're considered a stylish person, you can't make a wrong move when it comes to getting dressed. My little snafu (see above) should pretty much dis-spell that notion.

WWW - YES, THOSE PANTS DO MAKE YOU LOOK FAT

I know that's not what any of us want to hear. But when you wear pants that are too short or, high-water as we used to say, you are making yourself look fatter than you really are. Why is that? Pants that stop above your ankle cut off the line of your leg. And those missing inches of pant leg make you look short and squaty.

If your dress pants resemble these pics, add them to your donation pile. Kudos! You just made room in your closet for the better fitting pair you will soon purchase.

WhatWentWrong: MOM JEANS STRIKE AGAIN

I'm always startled and saddened when I turn a corner and spot some poor women wearing these horribly tragic ill-fitting jeans. You just know they're over 10 years old and not doing the unsuspecting culprit any favors.

Why is this a problem you ask? Let's see. These jeans make her:

• * bum look bigger and flatter than it probably it is

* thighs look larger because of the faded thighs

* look as though she cares nothing about the way she presents herself to the world.

So sad. And so unnecessary. If you're wearing jeans that look like this, ditch 'em!

WWW - ROLLS AND TIGHT PANTS DON'T MIX

 

I really wish I could walk up to this lady and tell her she's doing her body a disservice. If only I could have zoomed in to get a better shot. Well, I think you get the picture. (wink, wink) 

Luckily, this is a wonderful teachable moment. It's always a great idea to get in front of a mirror and glance over your shoulder. Since you're still at home, you'll have a chance to inject a wardrobe change before you leave the house. 

WhatWentWrong: READER SUBMISSION!

Thanks goes out to August Deed, one of my faithful readers who was so kind to send in this pic of her co-worker's questionable outfit. And, she even told her she was sending it to a blogger for further scrutiny. You know I love that!

Anyhoo, I'm not sure if you can identify that the white socks in question are of the athletic variety. In summary, this pic adds up to short shorts + white gym socks = a creative fashion forward choice or a hot mess? You tell me. I have to say, I usually appreciate the fashionable creativeness of socks or knee-highs with skirts and shorts but this looks more teen than career woman to me. I know what the problem is. The denim shorts and athletic socks scream casual. Replace both pieces with more grown-up choices and you'll see a definite improvement.

Do you like this interesting wardrobe combination? Oh, and quite importantly, I must note that this particular person was on the way to an after work meet out. Which I believe is a place where people go to meet potential dates/boyfriends/husbands. Is this an appropriate first impression look? 

WhatWentWrong - CAN A MANNEQUIN RECEIVE A FASHION CITATION?

I had to snap this pic because too many people look at store mannequins as their fashion guides. I've heard plenty of people say, "I just buy whatever is on the mannequin." And this image shows why this logic can be a really bad idea.

Here's a tip: high-waisted, skin-tight pants tend to look bad on most people. It's just not flattering on approximately (calculating in my head) 95% of the population. Yes, mannequins included.

Now that I look at these pictures again, I see this storefront had an overall hot pants theme. Why do I feel the certain urge to look at old pics from the 90s?

WWW - EXCUSE ME, YOUR THONG IS SHOWING

That's what I meant to say but by the time I snapped a few pictures of the exposed, I moved on to the next topic. A friend and I were waiting on a table at Thumbs Up Diner in Atlanta. You can always count on two things at Thumbs Up: 

1. incredibly good food, (ah, nothing close to a raw meal served here except a fruit cup) and 

2. there's always something interesting to look at. 

In an effort to participate in full disclosure, I can tell you that I fell victim to the exposed thong numerous times during the low rise jeans faze hitting the beginning of this decade. And I can honestly say, I never felt a breeze.

There are plenty of denim options available to combat the unwelcome crack visual. Check out Levi's for mid rise choices at various price points.